When Officers Don’t Ask for Help: Changing the Culture of Silence

Part I: The Culture is the Problem

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In law enforcement, officers are trained to respond. When someone is in danger, they step forward. When a situation becomes chaotic, they take control. When others are afraid, officers are expected to remain calm and capable. But what happens when the officer is the one who needs help?

Too often, officers hesitate to say, “I’m struggling.” They may keep working through stress, trauma, family problems, exhaustion, anxiety or depression long after they recognize something is wrong. Some never tell anyone at all. This isn't necessarily because officers don't care about their own wellbeing. It is often because they have been taught—directly or indirectly—that needing help is a liability. The reasons officers don’t seek help are complicated, but several themes appear repeatedly:

Fear of being seen as weak

Police culture places a high value on toughness, resilience, independence, and reliability. Those qualities are important in the field. But they can become harmful when officers begin to believe that acknowledging a problem makes them less capable.

An officer may think:

“Other people have it worse.”

“I should be able to handle this.”

“I don't want my supervisor thinking I can't do my job.”

“What will the other officers think?”

The result is that an officer may carry a tremendous burden while continuing to tell everyone, “I'm fine.”

Concern About Career Consequences

Officers may worry that asking for help could affect their assignment, reputation, promotion opportunities, firearm status or future career. Whether those fears are always justified is less important than the fact that many officers believe they are possible. If an officer thinks that seeking help could put their career at risk, silence becomes a rational choice.

Officers don't always trust the system

It's difficult to ask for help when you don't know where the request will go. Will a supervisor keep it confidential? Will a peer tell someone else? Will the officer be labeled? Will the department respond appropriately?

If officers don't trust the process, they may avoid the process entirely.

The problem isn't asking for help. It's waiting too long.

Police agencies should stop treating help-seeking as a response to failure. Instead, it should be viewed as preventative maintenance. We don't wait for a patrol vehicle to completely break down before servicing it. We don't wait until an officer is physically injured before providing medical attention. Mental and emotional health deserve the same mindset.

The goal shouldn't be to identify officers only when they're in crisis. The goal should be to create an environment where officers can say, “I'm having a difficult time…” before that difficult time becomes a crisis.